On your 23rd birthday

I met you when you were 19 years old. I was 18 and not even close to grown up. 

I am now 21, almost 22, and today is your 23rd birthday. 
We stopped talking over a year ago. It was a mutual decision that brought forth not only sorrow and grief- but also joy and contentment and peace- something we had not had for a long time. 

When we met it was like magic. My life changed. You were like the sun- bright and shiny and warm. You brought laughter and you brought joy and you brought confidence. From the beginning you were so sure of yourself, and I absolutely loved that. I craved that kind of feeling in someone.
What we had was quick and intense. It was brief, but real. It was great, but sad. It was love, but it hurt.
I will never regret what we went through because I honestly believe to this day that we had something real. Life got in the way. You needed to finish school, you needed to focus on it.
There was too much in the way of what we had. Too many disappointments and tears and heartbreak. Too many broken promises and misspoken words and mismatched actions. 
We had so much and yet nothing at the same time. It was like a light went on, but another burnt out. 
It was an emotional roller coaster that we both needed to get off of. 
I will always love you. There is no doubt about that. Even though we have not exchanged words in over a year, there is not a day that goes by where you do not appear in my life. I might not think about you everyday, but you're everywhere I look. You're engraved in me forever because I gave you so much of myself when we were together that I don't ever think we'll be able to tear the pieces of each other out of ourselves. I think we will always be intertwined. And i'm okay with that. It took me a long time to come to terms, but I did and life went on for both of us. 
I want to wish you a happy birthday, dear friend, because I am completely and honestly happy for you. I wish you NOTHING but the best and I hope you are able to achieve all the goals you had for yourself and beyond. I hope you never forget who you are and what you mean to all the people who love you. I hope you know that I would give anything to be able to see you be happy. You were at one time one of the most important people in my life, and I will never forget you. You scarred me. You broke me down into a million pieces and then scattered the pieces over the world. You took me and you broke my soul. You broke my heart. You took a knife straight to my heart- time and time again.
You also loved me and lifted me up. You told me I was beautiful at 2am and you whispered that you loved me at 7am when the sun was rising and a new day was starting and you were there everyday. You looked at me with admiration and you listened to every hope and dream and fear I had. You held my hand and gave me strength when I had none left. You kissed the scars and you understood me more than I ever understood myself. You let me be me, and you laughed along with me when I messed up and you taught me things I will never forget. 
I love you. I always will. Happy 23rd birthday. I hope it's a great one.

Love, 
Brenda